Strolling through dreamland kicking ass like a ninja
Edit – 26 January 2015 – I am doing something today that I have never done before. I am removing a post, not because of weakness or my own foolish heart that was put on display for the world. I cannot say that the one I wrote it for was oblivious or undeserving, for is it our place to judge who is deserving of love, even when they hurt us? The truth is that the thing I learned while writing it was a universal truth and something that should never be obscured by heart-rending gushing that served no purpose in the grander scheme of things, brought me no closure and would only deter people from reading it to the end to get to the important part. So below is the only part that matters, what I learned from having my heart broken trying to save someone from himself who didn’t want to be saved:
And when I started writing this for you two days ago, in that first moment of inspiration it felt like I was fighting very hard, but then I remembered the wise words of a great thinker who has been hugely influential in the development of my consciousness:
“Love is a way of being. It is the energy that radiates when the blocks to it have been surrendered. It is more than an emotion or a thought – it is a state of being. Love is what we become through the pathway of surrender.” – David Hawkins.
I have never truly understood that until now. It is not the surrender of “giving up” but the surrender of barriers, embracing oneness, wholeness, freedom from division, giving oneself over to the whole experience of life – the pleasant and the unpleasant – and meeting it with acceptance rather than resistance, acknowledging the innate beauty in everything rather than trying to fit it to conform to our own ideas and ideals. And this surrender, this love, is more powerful than any amount of fighting I have ever done for anything or anyone.
Out of the place where I wrote the whole of this retracted letter, this is all that matters: That love is indeed not a battle, not a competition… only the goggles through which we try to see the truth, whatever shape it may take, and then to surrender to it all of our personal ambitions, the colours of our souls and the unpredictable tides of emotion which we try to tame when we engage the world and life in all its manifold shades and depths.