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My body, betrayer

Posted on Sep 5, 2013 by in Current events, My Story & Ideas

Stardust movie image Charlie Cox and Claire Danes

I had to laugh at myself today.

At a time when I’ve been contemplating the pure love of a soul and spirit (read Cerebral Love), and hoping that someone could one day fall in love with me like that, my body goes and betrays me! The traitor!

Today I saw an old friend for the first time in months. I had a crush on him in my teens but our lives just seem to diverge and we remained just good friends, able to not see each other for months and then it’s like we’d never missed a beat… and talk about anything and everything. I wasn’t even sure he’d be there and he was late, so when I saw him my heart leapt a little bit with joy. And then, as he reached for me to greet me, instead of a customary hug, he cupped my face in one hand, his fingers in my hair, to lean in and kiss me hello and then hug me to him. It was just a familial gesture (Afrikaans people are especially fond of doing this), but in that moment it was like the gesture of a lover… I felt terrible, thinking that, afterwards, but I couldn’t help it. I felt my energy and spirit body just want to fuse with him in that gesture, every cell humming. A 100% platonic relationship evoking that kind of response? I don’t know. I was fiercely surprised and not a little embarrassed, but I kept my pose (I’m the queen, most days, of keeping my pose) and I’m sure he was none the wiser. Maybe the ‘new me’ just wants to share some of her awesomeness and will seize any opportunity to try and show me… It’s been a long time, but my head says probably not long enough! So for now, body, betrayer, you’ll just have to sit and be quiet.


PS… OK, so for the picture I really wanted to use Claire Danes in Romeo and Juliet, but that doesn’t have a happy ending like Stardust. Thinking about it though, Stardust is appropriate, because her body gave her away when she shone… not quite what I’m talking about here, but one hopes that I’ll get the chance to shine with love again some day. And why the penchant for Claire Danes’ movies today? Love her, beak-like nose and all… and someone told me once I look like her. Who needs any more reason than that? :-)