“I too…” – A poem in free verse
I write a lot, but I can count on one hand the number of times in my life when what was in me felt like coming out as poetry rather than prose.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote this poem. I was filled with anger, disappointment and despair, frustration with circumstances and people around me. Frustrated with myself for caring so much and feeling that somehow I was doing something wrong to create these circumstances. Because I KNOW, your thoughts create your world, but affirmations had become a habit rather than a force and when after months and months they didn’t seem to be achieving anything, within or outside me, it was the more disappointing and discouraging. I was angry and disappointed, mostly with myself, for momentarily thinking that silly things matter and getting depressed because things weren’t going the way I wanted. I was originally going to post the following:
“I am not the kind of person who would ever contemplate suicide, but there comes a day when something inside you just breaks and you can’t carry on (at least not on the same track as before). The song ‘Don’t kick the chair’ by Dia Frampton, meant something for me today.”
But instead, out of that deep place of hurt poured this poem, this manifesto… on the 23rd of May, and something started to happen. Today I feel transformed! Let whoever reads it take it as they will. I am what I am.
“I too” (a poem in free verse – 23/5/2013)
I too was once a little girl who dreamed
Of a big wedding and happy endings
I too stood on my father’s feet and imagined
A man I could admire who would take my breath away
I too danced and sang like nothing mattered except me
But now, I stand apart
I touched the line between hero and villain
And I chose the light
I saw the darkness and emptiness
Of a life that seeks only pleasure and
I remembered Majesty, Righteousness, Sincerity
I love animals, I do,
But we are so much more than
The animal existence we comfort ourselves with
I dream of bigger things. I am not content.
The greatest evil is to be able to be or do anything
To do nothing.
A life wasted.
So me, unlike you, I chose that path less travelled
Overgrown and full of thorns for lack of use.
But my treasure waits for me
At the end of the path,
While yours has been stolen and spoiled
By millions of other voices and faces who
Could never see beyond the want
And never-ending need of